


The Fabulous Life of Sherlock Holmes

by nondeducible



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, Amélie AU, Happy Ending, John has a strange hobby, M/M, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Sherlock has a curious way of flirting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 11:00:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11274090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nondeducible/pseuds/nondeducible
Summary: Sherlock Holmes is a man preoccupied with subtly enriching other people's lives. The only person he cannot help, however, is himself. That is, until a mysterious man with a peculiar hobby involving photo booths appears in his life.





	The Fabulous Life of Sherlock Holmes

**Author's Note:**

> more detailed tags may be added along with future chapters so please do check them occasionally (no content worthy of trigger warnings is planned). the fic will earn its explicit rating later on.
> 
> thanks to soli for a quick beta <3

On the 29th of March 1980 at precisely eight twenty-two in the evening, on a meadow in Kent, a butterfly from the family Pieridae beat its wings five times to evade the beak of a hungry blue tit. Unbeknownst to the butterfly, the movement would be a direct cause of a tropical cyclone, named Wally, that would hit the islands of Fiji several days later. Had the butterfly known this, it would’ve let itself be eaten by the bird.

At the same time, a Golden Retriever named Cody found the secret to pure happiness as he finally managed to open the fridge door, and eat the block of vintage cheddar that’s been making him salivate for a week. He did not regret his actions, even in the face of a stern talking to by his six year old owner.

It was also at precisely this time, that a spermatozoon belonging to Thomas Holmes, carrying the Y chromosome, broke through the wall of the ovum belonging to Mrs Margaret Holmes, nee Wandsworth, and fertilised it.

Exactly nine months and nine days later, Sherlock Holmes was born.

 

+++

 

Thomas Holmes was a nurse and physiotherapist, working in a local hospital in Hertfordshire. He was a tall, gentle man, prone to humming while he worked, and frequently losing his glasses. He had an optimistic outlook on life and a sunny disposition, however he strongly disliked strangers acting overly familiar with him, accidentally swallowing water in public swimming pools, and reusing latex gloves.

Mr Holmes adored his wife, and their shared home in the countryside. He was an avid gardener, and he often spent his free hours tending to his plants. He loved the feeling of a summer breeze on his face, weeding his garden in the late afternoon, and the sensation of his wife’s skin touching his affectionately. He doted on sons in equal measure, proud of both their achievements and how quickly they became smarter than him.

Margaret Holmes was a former lecturer in particle physics at University College London, having left her position when she became pregnant with her second son. She was a sharp, witty woman, prone to talking to herself while she worked, and possessed the uncanny ability to always find her husband’s displaced glasses. Her outlook on life was more realistic than her husband’s, although in her softer moments her true romantic nature came out. She despised getting wrinkly skin from bathing for too long, not being able to read a book in bed in the evenings, and gel pens working intermittently.

Like her husband, Mrs Holmes loved the outdoors and kept several beehives in their sizeable garden. She often worked alongside her husband, him tending to his plants and her tending to her bees. She loved taking care of her bees, baking pastries for her sons, and the sensation of her husband’s skin touching hers affectionately.

Mr and Mrs Holmes had one elder son, Mycroft. He was seven years older than Sherlock, and at the time of Sherlock’s birth his likes and dislikes were fairly simple. He disliked his baby brother for occasionally screaming and filling his diaper, but adored him in equal measure. Had anyone asked Sherlock, and had Sherlock been able to verbalise his thoughts, he would’ve said the feelings were entirely mutual.

Despite their mutual feelings of dislike, the Holmes brothers spent much of Sherlock’s youth playing together. Sherlock was a smart boy with no brain to mouth filter, and so wasn’t popular at school. Mycroft remained his sole companion until Sherlock turned six.

As time went by, Mycroft grew tired of Sherlock’s constant need for attention and tried to dissuade him from following him around in somewhat cruel ways. As a small child Sherlock loved to play doctor with his father, taking turns to listen to each other’s chests with a stethoscope, and curing each other of exotic and imaginary diseases. Whenever their father wasn’t around to play, Mycroft and Sherlock would play on their own. Mycroft took advantage of this and convinced little Sherlock he had a serious heart condition that would soon kill him. Sherlock spent the next few days locked up in his room, refusing to go to school and crying, much to the bemusement and worry of his parents. Mycroft eventually confessed to the cruel prank and was punished accordingly, much to Sherlock’s happiness.

In retaliation, Sherlock laced Mycroft’s birthday cake with laxatives. While an effective way to exact revenge on his older brother, it had the unfortunate consequence of affecting the entire family, including various aunts and uncles who had come to celebrate Mycroft’s fourteenth birthday.

The brothers’ relationship changed after that, slowly turning more distant and hostile. Whatever love was between them got buried deep, under layers of resentment and hurt. They were civil and polite in each other’s company, mostly for the sake of their concerned parents, but neither would ever admit to any affection towards the other.

In an effort to cheer Sherlock up, who took social isolation a lot harder than Mycroft, Mr and Mrs Holmes bought him a dog.

What followed were the happiest years of Sherlock’s life.

Sherlock and Redbeard were inseparable. Whenever Sherlock was not in school he spent it with Redbeard. They slept together in the same bed, something which his parents grudgingly allowed, and Sherlock sometimes even shared his meals with his best friend.

Redbeard was loyal, brave, and always happy to spend time with Sherlock. Together they conquered the seven seas as dreaded pirates, they flew into space and colonised new worlds, they travelled through time into the distant past and into the far-off future. 

Sherlock flourished with Redbeard as his companion, becoming more confident and sure of himself. His parents were, understandably, delighted with this development. Even Mycroft, who wouldn’t admit to it upon the pain of death, was happy for his baby brother.

This idyllic time ended shortly after Sherlock’s tenth birthday.

As was their custom for many years, Mr and Mrs Holmes visited the local churchyard to pay their respects to their deceased parents. Both Mycroft and Sherlock went with them, the latter with the ever present Redbeard at his side.

Bored with his parents’ stories of his dead ancestors, Sherlock took Redbeard to explore the churchyard with him. The old church had been closed for some time due to its bad state, the walls and the bell tower crumbling slowly under the onslaught of wind and rain. Sherlock ignored the warning signs posted around the tower, and crept closer to look at a plant growing at its base, which he suspected to be belladonna.

Unbeknownst to either Sherlock or Redbeard, a strong gust of wind finally managed to dislodge a gargoyle at the top of the tower and sent it hurtling down towards the pair. 

The gargoyle fell on Redbeard, killing him in an instant. Sherlock’s distressed screams would haunt his family for years to come.

Following Redbeard’s death Sherlock withdrew from the family life and ceased to interact with his peers beyond the bare minimum required. With Mycroft gone to attend a sixth form college in London, Sherlock was left alone with his parents, and now only his own thoughts as companions.

Sherlock continued to excel at school with ease and dedicated the rest of his free time to exploring science on his own. Unable to read his own adventure books due to lingering grief, he devoured his mother’s sizeable library, looking for something that would occupy his mind. Having read popular science books concerning astrophysics and mathematics, and discarded them as useless tripe, he chanced upon a biography of Jack the Ripper, which changed his life forever. 


End file.
